Mulligans, do-overs, clean slates, reset buttons, and “turn it off and on again” are graces given to us when we have crumbled under pressure, made a mistake, or gotten our lives so gummed up that we grind to a halt. It is one thing to do it in sports, an assignment, or an electronic device. It is a different challenge to do it in life.
We do have opportunities to make moves in the right direction. We cannot turn back time, but we do have markers that can act as catalysts to encourage us to act. It may be a birthday, a wedding, or a funeral. It may be surviving a serious illness, accident, or catastrophic weather. New Year’s Day is another of those markers. If we are going to announce an intended change, this is the most likely time to do it.
Here are a few thoughts on moving in the direction of making positive changes through resolutions in the New Year.
1. Set a goal to be reached at the end of the year that can be approached in steps. Set monthly or quarterly markers to keep you on track. See progress as success.
2. Set realistic goals given your current stage in life. Account for hours of work, children at home, health, and age.
3. Make at least one goal related to self-care, even if it is a continuation of something you are already doing. It is difficult to make progress on more challenging parts of life we do not make some effort to take care of ourselves. Diet, exercise, and good sleeping habits offer opportunities for nearly everyone to have a successful resolution.
4. Make a resolution around service to others. Doing for others makes all of us better off and is contagious.
5. Take it easy on yourself. A resolution is not a test, it is a promise to yourself to improve in some way. It need not be all or nothing. Slipping up is forgivable and should not halt moving forward the next day.
6. If it is a serious resolution, tell someone you trust and allow them to hold you accountable.
Making serious changes in our lives, whether they are resolutions or not, will often meet with serious resistance. Old habits have a way of lying dormant until that day when we are under stress and the gleefully sabotage us. If it is a significant change, we may find resistance coming from friends and family. This requires encouragement and support from those that are with us in our change.
Getting things right after we have made a mess requires patience and wisdom. It requires that we clear away old thoughts and actions and replace them with new ones. It may mean moving from entitlement to gratitude. It may mean moving from fear to faith. It may require letting go of bitterness and allowing the fresh air of forgiveness into one’s life.
Getting things right is a lifelong process of removing those negative things we have learned, sometimes as a survival response to our environment. It takes courage and faith to make serious changes when they need to be made. Paul wrote this encouragement in Ephesians 4:22-29, “Put off your old nature which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new nature, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, putting away falsehood, let every one speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his hands, so that he may be able to give to those in need. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” (RSV).
I believe that we are all created in the likeness of God, and we are at our best when we move toward the love that God offers us. Our minds and our natures are in a constant state of change as we experience life. It is for us to decide if we will allow life to drag us around or resolve to get as much right as we can while we can.
Happy New Year! Stand firm and be gentle with yourself and others.
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