Joy found in loving without expectations

an experience that will

likely be impossible a few short years from now. We were the first visitors of

the day to an excavated Mayan city — Caracol.

The last 30 miles was a partially graded gravel/dirt road which took us

well over an hour to drive. And the road was much better than it used to be. Other than the park attendant and half a dozen soldiers sent to prevent border incursions from Guatemala, we were the only ones there for the first forty-five minutes.

The reason this will not be possible in a couple of years? A new road without fords, washouts, and mud holes is being built. There will be a new highway, and eventually overnight facilities. There is no way visitors in the future will appreciate how difficult it was for us to get to this site today. Nor can I imagine how the original workers hauled in equipment with only mules when they first went to Caracol to excavate.

I can never fully appreciate previous generations that handed us the world in which I inhabit. It is tempting to complain, but the world is better than it used to be. Just think of

all the things that happen much less frequently or not at all now that were commonplace just a century ago; think in the realms of medicine, disease, farming, and human rights. While we have a long way to go, we are making progress.

When it comes to relationships, I am utterly clueless as to what others have done for me, and so

are you. You had teachers that stayed up late planning your lessons. I expect most of us had teachers lose sleep over us. Not to mention parents, friends, or church leaders. Some of this knowledge comes with age, but none of us know who has prayed for us or who went out of their way to be somewhere for us. Small kindnesses of best friends and strangers have made our path easier that it might have been — even if it has been a tough one.

It is impossible for us to appreciate all those things we never know about but are there helping us get through each day. This is an aspect of love — seeking the good of another even when it costs us something.

My guess is most people feel under-appreciated at some point in their lives or in some relationships; it goes with the territory if one loves others. However, that feeling can be diminished when we practice gratitude for what has been done for us.

This is not to discourage us from expressing appreciation. Hopefully this will help us express it even more, knowing that it will never be enough. On the other hand, love does not expect its recipients to fully appreciate what is done, because love knows it

can’t. I have been given

life. I cannot appreciate

that gift enough. Love expects what has been

given and sacrificed for

me to be passed on to

others who, in turn, will

not fully grasp what has been given to them.

There is joy to be found in loving without expectations of being appreciated. Occasionally, it becomes clear that a recipient of one’s love has had its effect on another. That is the gift of appreciation — a life changed, a kindness passed to another, a lesson learned, a challenge met — all because love has been poured into another.

It is important to remember, and it is important to remind others, that as generations pass, there is no way the younger will ever fully appreciate the older. They can’t because they don’t know what it was like.

Our God loves us and has expectations of us, but he knows what we are like. He knows we cannot fully grasp what he has done for us. He knows sometimes we do exactly the wrong thing while thinking it is the right thing. This is one reason he wants us to remember — it reminds us of who he is and who we are.

Can we appreciate, “There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance”? Can we appreciate, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”?