“Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.” Kevin Kelly — 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice at The Technium (https://kk.org/thetechnium/68-bits-of-unsolicited-advice/)
It is one thing to say, “Don’t worry.” It is quite another to figure out how to do it without living in denial of very real situations that push us to the limit of our faith and stamina, and then demand still more of us. Optimism and diminishing anxiety are not the same thing but they are related. Reducing worry in our lives, like anything worthwhile, takes practice and discipline.
The following list is my own. They work for me. Hopefully some of them work for you, too. Our culture is absolutely saturated with anxiety. It floats around and gloms on to all sorts of issues. It sticks to our leaders. It shoots out of our souls and wounds the people we say we care about most. It is something that less is always better than more.
Reducing worry is not about ignoring or denying the real problems we face. And I say reducing because there will always be some of it around. It is what we do with it that makes the difference. I recommend the website quoted above. Some readers are likely familiar with Mr. Kelley. I find him refreshing.
Here is a short list of attitudes and habits that help me reduce worry in my life. I expect you have your own list, and I would love to hear what those are.
I don’t have to change you for us to be friends. I have people in my life, good friends whom I would trust with my life who have radically different views than I do. It reduces stress immensely if friendship is based on how we treat each other instead of what we believe.
The movement of history is long and generally in a good direction for humans. We will always take steps back, but things are better for more people today than when I was born a few decades ago. When we consider how much different they are than 150 or 300 years ago, things are definitely better. We have made embarrassingly awful mistakes. Some of our ancestors have a lot of explaining to do. But so will we. Just be part of making things better for people not in your own tribe.
Don’t grieve as others who have no hope. Paul says in I Thessalonians 4:13-14, “We do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” (NIV)
Transformation is possible and perpetual. People change. They change when there is a new, better path forward that is accessible. It requires grace, forgiveness, and safety. There is no more vulnerable time in the life of a person than when the old is being shed and the new is being attempted. It requires honesty, care, and gentleness. After encouraging transformation in Romans12, Paul later says, “Accept one another, as Christ accepted you.” (Romans 15:7).
Light doesn’t worry about dark — it just makes it go away. Jesus said of his followers in the Sermon on the Mount. “You are the light of the world . . . let your light shine.” Be light- let the darkness do the worrying.
I take time to be still. Psalm 46 speaks of trouble and turmoil. It speaks of the earth giving way and storms at sea. It ends with the answer to when life moves too fast for us to comprehend. “Be still and know that I am God.” Slow down enough to gather yourself. Things may be as bad as they seem — or worse. Slowing the action down helps us make better decisions.
Let the game come to me. One of my professors once said to me, “Prepare yourself and you will be ready when the time comes.” It is fine to be aggressive occasionally. Competition is often a good thing. But pressing too hard and worrying about outcomes takes it toll on us. Do what is in front of you to the best of your ability.
I am optimistic about life in general. I try not to worry. Peace.
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