Adventures in the YouTube universe

Five years ago, YouTube was a collection of home videos. People laughed, then pressed that magic red “X” to close the window. The site was nothing like the monster that it has become today.

YouTube has gone from a one-and-done type site to the something that ruins office productivity around the world. One video leads to another, then that one leads to “YouTube recommends ...”, then your day is shot.

Just to prove my point, type the words “how to” into the search key. YouTube’s predictive text comes up with 10 answers right off the bat, including how to kiss, how to be a ninja, how to tie a tie, and how to Dougie. You may have no interest in becoming a ninja, but just in case it ever comes up, you might as well watch it.

These are the kinds of things that contribute to me being late for work, or staying up too late on a video rampage. I can watch every NHL “History Will Be Made” commercial in one sitting. Typing in the great Bruce Springsteen yields seven pages of information. How am I supposed to get through all of that in one sitting?

You can even throw a party with YouTube. Any song by any artist is on the site, along with at least 10 covers by wanna-be singers around the world, just a click away.

Yes, I am YouTube obsessed, but so are my friends. When I decided to come to Kentucky, I was bombarded with Kentucky’s best and brightest on the video scene. Every time I clinked on a link someone was getting pulled over for driving erratically on a lawn mower, or displaying the latest buck shot with an arrow.

The point is, there is something for every occasion. It boggles my mind tracing my steps. Sometimes my YouTube exploration can last up to two hours. I can find videos to support or refute anything that has ever been said. I learn about conspiracy theories. If I really wanted to, I could learn how to draw just about anything.

So, for kicks, I decided to spend an entire Sunday learning things. I learned all the words to “Rappers Delight,” then I spent about an hour making various origami birds and flowers. I cooked spaghetti, following only instructions that I could find in video form.

Instead of going to the gym, I did almost an hour of dance cardio. I learned N’Sync’s “Bye, Bye, Bye” dance, then went on to harder versions of the “Dougie” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”

Exhausted, it was time to wind down. I listened to someone literally read me the book “Twilight,” my all-day YouTube bender coming to a close. I watched close to 40 videos throughout the day, and the fact is, I have barely scratched the surface. But I will gladly take on the job of YouTube explorer. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Contact Corianne Egan, a Paducah Sun staff writer, at 270-575-8652.