Welcome

Thank you for visiting paducahsun.com, the online home of The Paducah Sun.

Calendar
June 2012
S M T W T F S
27 28 29 30 31 01 02

Click here to submit an event.

Different ways to end friendship

Staff report

Dear Annie: When I was a freshman in high school, I became friends with "Agnes," who was (like me) something of a social outcast. Agnes still considers me to be her best friend. That was 10 years ago.

We have both grown up to be very different people. I am repelled by Agnes' lifestyle of promiscuity and high-risk behaviors. Although she is free with praise and is loyal in an odd sort of way, she is incredibly narcissistic and often condescending. Add to that a volatile and sometimes violent temper, and she is a person I no longer want in my life. Still, we have a history. When she says I am "the only one who has stuck with her," I feel a responsibility to maintain the friendship. I am also fond of her 5-year-old son.

I don't want to be dishonest by pretending that her decisions, her manner and her lifestyle don't bother me. It seems dishonorable. But if I tell her any of this, I know it will lead to a nasty confrontation. The truth about my feelings would crush her. She considers friendship and loyalty to be sacred and would take my disapproval as a betrayal of her trust. Should I tell her the truth for my sake or continue the deception for hers? - Conflicted

Dear Conflicted: It depends on what you want. If your goal is not to see Agnes anymore, go ahead and let loose. People outgrow friendships all the time. You don't have to maintain this one, although it means you would not be around to show her son what a stable person looks like. You also could slowly make yourself less available to Agnes so there is no confrontation at all while the relationship withers. But a true friend would tell Agnes gently and kindly that you are worried about her. In turn, Agnes, while not pleased, would accept your concern and not cut you out of her son's life.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.

Comments made about this article - 0 Total

Comment on this article

Your comment has been submitted for approval
captcha e704266fbeaf4c5a8e9d83a117ca8cad
Top Classifieds
  • Rottweiler Pups - Mom AKCRegistered5 ... Details
  • Poodle or Cocker Pups - (270)476-258 ... Details
  • HAVANESE PUPS AKC Home Raised, Best H ... Details
  • PILLOW TOPmattress sets NEW in pl ... Details
  • Bedroom Suites New in Boxes. 6pc. che ... Details
  • Bowflex Tread Climber TC10Purchased D ... Details
  • Downsizing Due To HealthAntique furni ... Details
  • SEEING is believing! Don't b ... Details
  • 1 acre corner lot Kevil $12000 270488 ... Details
  • 2008 bennington 20ft. with 50HP Yamah ... Details
  • 2004 40Ft. Holiday rambler HRindever ... Details
  • 2009 H-D XL883L. Windshields, Aux. Li ... Details

Most Popular
  1. Authorities: Thieves stripping barn wood
  2. Veazey cites staff's impact at WKCTC
  3. GOP starting to coalesce behind Trump
  1. Confederate monument slated for removal
  2. McCracken District Court
  3. Teen arrested on drug charges
  1. Authorities: Thieves stripping barn wood
  2. Veazey cites staff's impact at WKCTC
  3. GOP starting to coalesce behind Trump
Discussion

Check out these recently discussed stories and voice your opinion...