Are You Surprised? | Your iPod Top 10 | Musaq | Movies
By Adam Shull
ashull@paducahsun.com
There’s a movie for every week this summer. Check out our rating system to know which will flop and which will be hot. We give them 1-5 chili peppers.
“Speed Racer”
Featurette
Release date: May 9
Star(s): Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci
How it has done: It took in $20.2 million in the first weekend, that is it flopped.
Why: “The Matrix” creators Andy and Larry Wachowski are needing Neo about now. The previews looked like a bad music video, even after costing over $100 million to make, and not enough people miss the animated show which the movie remakes.
“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”
Trailer
Release Date: May 16
Star(s): Ben Barnes, Liam Neeson
How it has done: 4.5 chili peppers (box office numbers not available by deadline)
Why: The first “Chronicles” stunned people. The second go-around in the fantasy franchise based on C.S. Lewis’ books has action, beautiful graphics and an epic story that will appeal to tons of viewers.
“Sex and the City”
Trailer
Release Date: Friday, May 30
Star(s): Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall
How it will do: 2 chili peppers
Why: It’s been four years since the HBO series ended and now Carrie and Big are getting hitched or maybe not. Problem is who beyond die-hard show fans will care?
“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan”
Trailer
Release Date: June 6
Star(s): Adam Sandler
How it will do: 2 chili peppers
Why: Sandler and Judd Apatow (“Knocked Up”) co-wrote this flick that seems more appropriate to rent. The comedy about a zany Israeli commando turned New York City hairdresser will be funny on the third viewing but not worth the $7.50.
“Kung Fu Panda”
Trailer
Release Date: June 6
Star(s): Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogan
How it will do: 2 chili peppers
Why: The tubby panda Po is stuck working at his family’s noodle shop until he trains to become a martial arts master. Star power and Black’s hilarious side comments will barely keep this animated flick from bombing.
“The Incredible Hulk”
Trailer
Release Date: June 13
Star(s): Edward Norton
How it will do: 1 chili pepper
Why: Been there, done that and didn’t care the first time.
“Get Smart”
Trailer
Release Date: June 20
Star(s): Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway
How it will do: 3 chili peppers
Why: Carell plays bumbling spy Max in his exploits with veteran operative Agent 99 (Hathaway) in this update of the 1960s TV comedy. Carell is hilarious but hasn’t killed it yet as a lead man. It should be funny, but that doesn’t mean it will be.
“Wall-E”
Trailer
Release Date: June 27
Star(s): A janitorial robot
How it will do: 2 chili peppers
Why: The robot clunks around Earth for centuries because no one turns him off after humans trash the planet so bad they must abandon it. The Pixar’s graphics will be fun to look at and that’s about it.
“Hancock”
Trailer
Release Date: July 2
Star(s): Will Smith, Charlize Theron
How it will do: 4 chili peppers
Why: Don’t bet against Will Smith in July. He plays a super hero with real problems like alcoholism against the backdrop of outlandish special effects.
“Journey to the Center of the Earth”
Trailer
Release Date: July 11
Star(s): Brendan Fraser
How it will do: 1 chili pepper
Why: If this updated version of Jules Verne’s classic tale wasn’t in digital 3D it would get a half a chili pepper.
“Meet Dave”
Trailer
Release Date: July 11
Star(s): Eddie Murphy
How it will do: 1 chili pepper
Why: Murphy leads endangered aliens around Earth in a ship that looks just like Eddie Murphy. Go see Indiana Jones again instead.
“The Dark Knight”
Trailer
Release Date: July 18
Star(s): Christian Bale, Heath Ledger
How it will do: 5 chili peppers
Why: Rumors of the late Ledger’s electric performance in his next-to-last role have swirled for months and the hype for the sequel to the first modern Batman with Bale gives this one a chance to explode in July.
“The X-Files: I Want to Believe”
Trailer
Release Date: July 25
Star(s): David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson
How it will do: 2.5 chili peppers
Why: I want to believe more than just dedicated fans of the TV series will care about Mulder and Scully chasing aliens, but I can’t.
“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emporer”
Trailer
Release Date: Aug. 1
Star(s): Brendan Fraser
How it will do: 3 chili peppers
Why: It will be surprising how many people will watch this story re-heated for a third time.
“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”
Trailer
Release Date: Aug. 8
Star(s): America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn
How it will do: 2.5 chili peppers
Why: Gal pals are still sharing pants and a loyal book series following will appreciate a movie with female lead characters.
“Tropic Thunder”
Trailer
Release Date: Aug. 15
Star(s): Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black
How it will do: 4 chili peppers
Why: Downey Jr.’s white character undergoes surgery to have black skin to play a black man in a spoof on Hollywood types and war movies. Throw in a bald Tom Cruise, blonde Jack Black and a group of guys that have no idea they’re in a real battle in the jungle and you could have something great.
Adam Shull can be contacted at 575-8653.